| Why Women Are Happier Than Men...
| Saturday, February 23, 2008
As a reply to Ate Juliana's comment on my previous post, I decided to post several reasons as to "Why Women are Happier than Men". Women...
* ...Don't worry about going bald
* ...Never have to rearrange their testicles while wearing tight pants
* ...Never get their sex organs caught in their zippers while drunk
* ...Don't have to constantly answer "What are you gonna be when you grow
up?" shortly after their third birthday.
* ...Don't have to run a super-sharp piece of metal over their facial
epidermal layer each and every morning of their adult lives.
* ...Can bludgeon someone to death with a baseball bat and then get off
scot-free by claiming a "hormonal imbalance"
* ...Can commit cold-blooded murder and not only get off scot-free, but end
up with a book deal and an appearance on Oprah merely by mentioning "years of
violent spousal abuse"
* ...Don't have to go in a pubic women's restroom and worry about some
previous occupant pissing and shitting on the seat, the floor, and the surrounding
* ...ALWAYS outlive their husbands.
* ...Have a wide variety of commercial, sweet smelling deodorants for their
* ...In a moment of anger, can call someone a "cunt" without being exiled and
excommunicated from the community of humankind.
* ...know exactly what to do when a child is sick.
* ...don't have a freaky, semi-oedipal relationship with their overbearing
* ...don't ever have to spit
* ...don't ever have to hold one nostril shut while blowing a huge loogie out
* ...have an astute, innate sense of when to change underwear before it
becomes a Petri Dish for bacteria development
* ...never pull a back muscle screaming at the television during a sports
* ...don't have to worry about which family member will inherit and care for
their collection of baseball caps
* ...never lose six hours on a Saturday morning watching fishing shows on OLN
* ...can terminate a bladder emptying event without waiting for 'the shake'
* ...can tell their doctors anything
* ...Can simulate a perfect, entire sex act with nothing more than ten idle
minutes and a zucchini.
Any violent reactions,whatsoever??!!
|posted by RJ @ Saturday, February 23, 2008
definitely agree hahaha.